From zero to hero? The Bluebeards Revenge manliest of manes hair challenge…

When Bluebeards Revenge put it out there they were launching a new range of hair styling products with a bloggers ‘hair-off’, I jumped on it like a horny dog to a spare leg.

Having admired the brand for a while, I was keen to see how their latest products would turn out. Back in 2011 when they first launched, I did a feature with them for City Dweller magazine, sampling their shaving products which turned out to be a hoot.

Fast forward four years later and I may have a few extra grey hairs, but my mane is thankfully still intact and indeed, it does often need to be tamed with some high-grade gunk. Bring on the challenge.

Each blogger was presented with their Matt Clay, Matt Paste and Pomade products and asked to come up with three styles, to ‘tame the manliest of manes’. So my hair may be unruly at times, but I dare say it’s not very manly.

In fact, I’m a big vain ponce when it comes to my hair and take longer than a girl to get ready, so it’s quite the opposite. Time to man up and take the challenge…

So, how did I go from this…

It's not my jazz mag, honest!

It’s not my jazz mag, honest!

To this…?

So many poses.

So many poses.

Here’s how:

Bluebeard challenge one: Matt Paste and the ‘Invisible look’


Bluebeards Revenge Matt Paste

So the Matt Paste is the kind of product I buy already and so after a nifty new haircut from the guys down at Tracks Hair Design (Leeds coolest new barber shop just next to Mission), off I went for style number one.

The packaging says ‘A little goes a long way, so use sparingly to avoid looking like an over-styled hedgehog’ and so I carefully applied the creamy white paste (less of the cheap smutty jokes please) to my freshly washed buff nut.


Smile goddamit!

As promised, it does indeed give a sleek yet invisible finish; some may call it the ‘TOWIE circa 2011’ look, but I’ve named it ‘the invisible look’ for fear of being labelled a poor man’s Joey Essex.

Initially, it looks a touch greasy, but within minutes, dissolves into your locks and gives the impression you aren’t wearing any product at all. It’s the dogs danglies. As this is the kind of product I am already comfortable with and would use on a daily basis, give it a solid 9/10.

Bluebeard challenge two: Matt Clay and the ‘The Pompadour’  


Bluebeards Revenge Matt Clay

 And so onto look number two. Now Matt Clay is something I used regularly a few years back when I had that spiky, 90’s boyband style that I refused to let go of for at least 15 years after it went out of fashion.

How would it fare on my hair today, decades after half of said boybands died of overdoses or embarrassment for crimes against music? Surprisingly well to be fair it turns out. As with the paste, a little goes a long way with this product and enables you to achieve a more texturised look with added volume.


The Pompadour

Granted, I’m perhaps a little past having this style of cut, but all the cool kids can rock it and so if big, massive quiffs is your bag, then this is the product for you. For me, I’ll be using this when I have my hair cut shorter and give it a solid 8/10.

Bluebeard challenge three: Pomade and the ‘The Don’

IMG_1211 (1)

Bluebeards Pomade

So I saved the Pomade to the end, because to be quite frank, I was a little scared of it. For me, pomade and the slick-backed look has always made me imagine a sleazy foreign waiter in a cheap holiday resort, cracking onto my mum (or worse still, my gran) after she’s had one too many Sambuca’s, so all in all, not for me.

So what was this pomade like? Well, for starters, it smells awesome. Incredibly fresh, but of course very manly and piratey – hence why it’s called Bluebeard. But is it for me? Well, as you can see from the pictures, perhaps not. I ended up looking more douchebag than Don – I just don’t pull it off.


Don or douche?

If you like pomade however, it was a good one and smells fantastic, but it just doesn’t sit well on my head. For me personally, it was a 7/10, but then I’m never going to be a pomade fan. Unless I become a gangster, which is unlikely.

So what’s the overall verdict? Well, for me, Bluebeard have released a solid range and managed to touch each base, whether you like the invisible, textured or slick look. Having won numerous grooming awards over the years, including Brand of the Year 2014 from FHM, Bluebeard seem set to stay at the forefront of cutting-edge men’s grooming.

Matt Paste, Matt Clay and Pomade are all paraben free and available to buy online for £10 a pop direct from The Bluebeards Revenge site.